I was still snuggled up in bed two mornings ago when my phone went DINGGG (thank you very much for the unnecessarily loud and high-pitch notification, fb messenger). Anyway, my mother texted me to tell me that our police certificates are ready to be collected. While I was relieved that the last of the documents required by the National Visa Center came sooner than we had expected, I was also disappointed, because this means I have to pack my bags and start looking up one-way plane tickets back to Malaysia.
Lying in my bed, I thought about the things I have to do and settle before leaving the U.S back to M'sia, things like making sure that my electric bills, internet bills, HOA fees, roommate-things etc are in order. I also thought about whom I should meet up with to say goodbye, or whom I haven't told the news to. These are pretty dreadful things to think about, but the absolute worst one is probably the thought of being away from my boyfriend for so long. Every time I think about it, I tell myself it can't be that bad. Plenty of people have done it , and we're extremely fortunate too because we are privileged enough to be blessed with the luxury of high-speed internet and wonderful telecommunications apps. I don't want to seem like I have too little faith in our relationship, but my worries and concerns are gnawing at my guts ever so slightly to create a void big enough to fill a pound of paranoia. It's so silly of me though to dwell on it so much, considering the fact that our relationship has been nothing but pure awesome.
With all the fears and dread pulling me down like an anchor, I feel like, or rather, have an enormous desire to just tether myself to a bunch of balloons and fly away forever, but those needles of reality will eventually pop my happy balloons, my mode of escape. I bet they will poke me real hard too if I'm not careful.
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